HAPPY 2ND ANNIVERSARY DEAR!

I can't believe how time flies. Two years went by just like this. Seriously, TWO YEARS!!

Thinking back, it was really tons and tons of things that dear and I went through. So much that I'm unable to describe it using words.

Now that dear is in camp, I don't wish anymore. All I hope is for dear to stay safe and sound, always, and hoping to see him really soon. May god bless him.

I love you dear.

Exactly 7 days since dear went in for enlistment. This also meant that I've survived 7 days without him. Really hope he is surviving well in there, may god bless him.
Thank god I'm working everyday since dear's enlistment day, so at least I don't have much time to idle and let my thoughts run wild.
Dear, I really miss you ...

Ended the week without dear. Mood was rollercoaster for the whole time since dear enlisted. Till now, I'm not sure how I view dear's enlistment yet. On one part, I'm upset he's not with me. On other, I'm glad he went in cause this means it's closer to the day we can be together.
I hope dear is really surviving and adapting well in army. I can't help it but to worry. Thank god he is safe and sound.
Bless you, my love.

First night without dear was spent crying, again. Come to think of it, cried really badly. I was like sobbing non-stop, and crying loud from time to time. Guess Mickey was stained with my tears last night, and hopefully not tonight.

Couldn't sleep well; kept waking up in the middle of the night. Am really exhausted, I need sleep but I can't sleep.
I miss you dear.

It's the 6th Nov now, at this moment. Less than 4 days to baby's enlistment day.

Mixed feelings.

One, he will be going in soon and leaving my side.

Two, once he is out, we can really get together, officially.

Yet, I have no courage to stay alone. After two years of being together, seeing each other almost everyday, never apart from each other. Now, baby will be gone for two years. Never going to be able to call him as and when I wish to hear his voice.

Baby. I promise, I'll stay strong.

I love you <3

I dislike departures. No matter if it's a year, a month, a week or even a day. Not at all. I just need to pray hard that no one around leaves me. Not a single one. And yes, I'm that selfish.

Back to work again tmrw and now I'm suffering from sore eye. Oh man. What's with me seriously? If it's still gonna be sore I'm so going to wear spects to work tmrw. And please bless me that cough recovers soon. And people around me too.

Shall be positive about work since I've got support (Y)

Please be a busy day tmrw. I need it to pass fast.

Work was good, 4/5. Thank god for the encouragement, else I don't think I can survive today.

Sometimes I wonder if this is the right choice, but come to think of if, whether right or wrong, I've made the decision. Is there any point in thinking it's a wrong decision?

Be smarter Mel.
"Another transaction again? Pro." as quoted by anonymous.

Work was fine, bored like usual. Unexpected of such a Thursday though.

Am upset about sales though. Sighs.

Ended my second day of work.

Was really nervous the night before first day that I couldn't even sleep.

Work turned out to be fine. In fact, much better than I thought. Colleagues are friendly and environment is nice. Simply put, the company is nice to work in. Despite being in a small-scale company, I never regret my choice. After all, I still think I'll be able to learn more thing in small-scale company as they will not neglect you.

Enjoyable work time but still tired. I need more sleep :D

Baby, I'll learn to grow up. I promise.

Internship commences tomorrow and here I am, worried and keep wanting to cry. My mind is continuously worried about this and that, so much that I don't even know what I'm worried about. Simply, just EXTREMELY worried.

The feeling I'm having right now, somewhat similar to the time when baby was embarking on his internship. The difference is, this time, I'm the one.

Guess I really relied too much on baby. Having to see him after waking up and before going home seems like a norm now, but tomorrow will be another extremely different thing. I'm stepping into phase of my life. Such things will not happen anymore, never ...

Unsure of what things will turn out to be like. Unsure of what tomorrow will brings me. Unsure of everything that may happen the next minute.

I don't know how I should face things from now on. I admit the fact that I'm emotionally weak and unstable. I'm seriously lost and I can't even stop my tears ...

Five days to the start of internship.

Mixed feelings. Scared? Worried? Happy? Or Excited?

I don't know. But money is an issue now. MAIN ISSUE.

I'm running low on cash. NEED TO SAVE, MEL.

Sometimes I really regret enjoying cause enjoying equals to spending money.

):

8 more days to the start of internship. And my worries start kicking in.

Oh well. On another side, I'm left with less than 8 days to enjoy my break before entering work life. So that will be, Baking and swimming tomorrow and Sentosa cum picnic on Thursday. As for the rest, oh well ...

Fell down at Wisma today. Fucking suay and the fucking bitch didn't even warn people about the spill. And they took so long to even clean up the place. Seriously disappointed with the management.

Now my already sprained leg worsen and my hip is damn painful. Fucking unlucky.

And now I'm feeling FUCKING IRRITATED.

WHY DON'T YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND MY WORDS?!

Done with my final examinations yesterday! Will be having 12 days of break before commencement of internship. Technically I've competed all my examinations, since university is never my cup of tea.

And since I'm left with this pathetic 12 days of break, I'm gonna enjoy like crazy. Go Go Mel!

Why are there always hurtful things before report submission/exams?

FOREVER.

I hate myself for being born, like seriously. I hate myself for not having the courage to leave this world when the desire was at it's peak. Now that my courage have drained out, I don't have the guts to do it anymore...

Here I am, fucking stress over exams and issues in life are not helping. I fucking need a break from everything, yet I'm not allowed to.

I don't mind being a loser.

I want to escape. Escape from this little world of mine...